This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
