someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
how does that bad decision feel?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
