I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
