Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
