well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
