She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
