I can tuck mytits in my pants
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize