I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
