failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
