Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
