check it out our google latitudes are spooning
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
