Your mouth is God's brothel.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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