i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
we made out on top of his cat.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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