I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
