So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
