4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
