She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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