Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It's just like the Real World with babies
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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