Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize