Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
