I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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