I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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