Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
