We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
