Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
