I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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