I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
