if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
