i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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