I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
