I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
