Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
