Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize