Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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