so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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