If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
