my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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