he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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