Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
