hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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