Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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