I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
