Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
