I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
