Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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