Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
