Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
