When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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