Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
