So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
