I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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