well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Randomize
