Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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