I want to walk on stilts...naked
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize