Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
