Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We're too hungover to prance.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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