Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
