Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
