wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
