I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
