Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
